Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Marathon Life

Miss “two-snaps” is finally writing once again! It’s been awhile since I’ve written something since poetry has just been my creative outlet of choice, for whatever reason writing wasn't happening for me… but I digress. That was until a “Confessions ORFG” faithful reader told me about his blog, I love it when my readers reach out to me for advice about their own blogs, or their lives, relationship and/or personal issues. I guess the reason why I haven’t been blogging in the literary form is because I really didn’t have anything to say. I was somewhat going through the motions of life just trying to it get together thinking I had it together when in all honesty I didn’t. I won’t make this a “beat up on myself” session; in fact this will be a more of a “give you a hand clap of praise” session! I was recently telling a friend how we are all effed up, each and every one of us have issues and effed-upness, the true blessing in saying all of that is this; if you can say your f*cked up you have just saved yourself… true story. I’m not saying to go around and tell everyone about your flaws because that does nothing but shine a light on it, making it bigger and in center stage. What I’m alluding to is to identify; tell yourself your issue, write out what you want to change and then make an active effort in changing it.

A month or so ago I down loaded an app to my iPhone and iPad called “Unstuck”; the app is meant to help people break free from issues that they’re dealing with, in a structured organized way (something that just so happens to be a part of my stuckness). When I used the app I was able to clearly understand why I was feeling stuck in my writing and why I was not moving anywhere with weight-loss even though I was running 5k’s (doesn’t help if you’re eating whatever you want afterwards), and why I just felt plain ole effed up! This morning I was talking to the friend/reader who has a new blog and wanted me to read his first entry, as I was chatting I mentioned something pretty substantial, I told him I realized that life is a run - a consistent continuous run.  It dawned on me at that point there is no stopping, it’s a marathon without a finish line in site or at least there shouldn’t be. Life is something that will have you feeling like starting and stopping, often times we get to a level of success (and this is my classic eff up) and then think “Ok I’m done… I did a great job, I can chill now!” when in actuality that’s the opposite of what we should be doing. The level of success achieved is just that, a level of success. The climb and celebration should only be a display of how good you are and that you can in fact do anything you want to.

This is the main reason why so many people lose weight and then gain it all over again, the run is far from over, in fact the marathon has just begun. Using this analogy I find myself thinking about it like this...once you start running you begin to get into what they call a “runners stride” that stride is something that is quite miraculous. While you’re in that stride you forget (kinda) that you’re running all together, you begin to daydream about other things, you’re listening to your music and you begin taking in this rhythm that is suprisingly beautiful. The stride is where we sometimes stop, instead of embracing that rhythm we get to greatness (the stride) and begin thinking that enough…it’s over.  Well I’m here to witness to you it is far from over, life is our own personal a long distance journey- a marathon life. With every level of success there’s a newer, higher, better, more euphoric level, and when that level is met there’s another right behind that one!  Yesterday a friend on Facebook asked me jokingly when I was talking about how well I was doing in my MBA program… “Well Keshia what’s next?” I sarcastically said, “Well maybe I’ll climb a mountain”, even though I was joking don’t be surprised if you see me on top of Mount Kilimanjaro.

Love & Blessings,

Buttaflibabee

Friday, January 18, 2013

A You on You

Stuff gets really real
when I pull a you on you
feels kinda funky to feel
how that shit feels
Right
Kinda wishin you hadn't shown me
how to act like a damn fool
Right
I guess what I'm sayin is
Being like you ain't really hard to do
It's really quite easy
Kinda quick
Maybe a little bit low key sleezy
See being like you is so simple
but then again quite different
than what I'm used to
Not really how I'm used to
treating people
See pullin a you on you goes like this...
First I start with flirting
See if emotions between the two of us still exist
Maybe whisper a few words of lovin
Then once that gets good
Once your on board
once your in the mood
Then I would STOP!
No more calls... nope, I'd
STOP
No more sweet thoughts... nope... just
STOP
I would simply
watch
watch your stuck ass kinda wander
wander around that intersection of confused & ignored
Red light or Green light
See thats the key, hell you don't even know anymore
see the initial interest was just an illusion
Green light go... sure but not for affection
Green means go
but only for desertion
Green light means go
but now for lost feelings of uncertainty
Turning the other way quick sir
cuz rejection is better than regret
Better turn the other way right now
and go back to thyself
No mixed signals to run you off the road
Go means go in YO house
filled with the "me" kinda love
Ya see when I get wrapped up in emotions
I gotta SPEAK i gotta TYPE i gotta WRITE this shit out!
To help release the stuffed up perplexities in my mind
The mixed up dumbshit
The absurdity of even trusting your black behind
Unblock my thoughts so I can move on
No time for yo red lights
No time for yo green lights
No time for getting even
No time to settle a score
I simply let the universe handle that
Fact of the matter is
I'm just not that fuckin impressed with you anymore
I'm bout to pull a me on me
see how that shit feels
Shower myself with love, complements
a sense of ultimate security... the feeling thats 100% real
Say sweet things to myself every morning and before I lay my head down at night
See pulling a me on me is pretty friggin awesome
that shits like JJ
haha.. ya know... that shits like DY-NO-MITE
It's a pity though when you think about it
the lack self-esteem that must resides in your heart
that thing that allows you to opening up emotions in a beautiful girl
then to have the audacity to tear her apart
and leave her standing there
Just standing with no direction
Our bodies grow stronger
once the pain is gone,
and we've gotten rid of the intitial infection
Of what we thought was love
you never shake that feeling of being lost
once you've found our way back home
Vowing to never compromise yourself again
Vowing to never get burned
may the next girl, and oh yea they'll be a next
be held just a little bit tighter
a little bit closer
may she never get lost by your mix signals
may your ways mature
your actions become clear
may your sense of direction get into fuckin focus.

Love & Blessings,
Buttaflibabee

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Just a Thought...

"Sometimes living your purpose is simply FIRSTdoing the things that you thought you could never do. It may not be traveling across the globe yet, or skydiving. Living your purpose right now may simply be reciting your poetry on a stage infront of 50 people, or actually believing what your mothers told you all these years... that your beautiful, that being tall is a blessing, that your amazingly smart you just don't know it yet. Living your purpose is a day by day self discovery process, a unveiling of what God knew you already were, a butterfly emerging slowly... very slowly from it's cocoon."

-Buttaflibabee