That’s how I know
it just happened...again.
The kiss can’t be imaginary
can't be fake.The way he slides his hands up my thighs
and brushes his lips against mine.
The way he held my hand.
There’s no way
this could be a setup, or a playdate
no effin way this is pretend.
No land of make believe or to the otherside.
The otherside is here.
The otherside is right now
or at least it was last night.
When I fell asleep... yea I thought I was simply resting
I just eased into sleep
drifted away into restful slumber
Will it happen again???
No need to wonder... but it does.
This mutha-effin mental matinee
No dress rehearsal for this shit...
this intimate movie/play
behind my eyes.
My dreams directed by a power much higher than mine
Tomorrow I. Will. Try.
Try and rush the thoughts away.
Maybe I can cloud the visions with nothingness.
A storm cloud with lots and lots of rain
or a tornado perhaps
Crazy whirlwind of a drunken nights kiss…
Or possibly a fluffed up promise
of being loved
...taken care of
or swept away...does that shit still exist?
Don’t know why I try to pretend
Don’t know why I won’t simply give in
To the unconscious evening of passion
the private moments when the sun sets
alert thinking starts a'passin
And night begins
Hours of lasting kisses heavy breathing and me saying
Feelings of fear that lurk
You see I’m stronger now,
No falling victim anymore
I’m bolder now…
Done with bad decisions
Even though the earth moves beneath me
I make myself brush it off
...the desire at least
for a part-time
No time for-giving-in
to the unrealistic bullshit
but every night heeeee's baaaack
while I'm mutha-fuggin sleepin
ya see he kinda creeps in.
can’t escape him
Can’t replace him
Can’t touch him
Until night falls
And God calls
saying he's bringing him back to me
but only when I’m deep
in my dreams.
Love & Blessings,