Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Love Light

"Love me in the light" is a statement that has come to my mind most recently - without sounding conceited, because I've found myself attracting more & more men these days. Some of theses men have been younger, some older... some (I hate to say) are married... some occasionally single... but most of them involved... in some way shape or form.  With this new found awareness I find myself reflecting on what my mom and others have said to me & about me.  They've always told me I had a "light" a little sumthin that attracts people in general to me, that people naturally want to be around me... I can't quite explain it but I've learned how to accept it.  As for right now though I wanna talk about my experiences with attracting men to this "light".   My issues with this "attracting men" thing seems to stem from the "former fatgirl"... see as a fatgirl you don't get much attention especially from men, but now that I have made a transformation in body & spirit  I am no longer the "fatgirl"... I'm that "Oooouuuu that girl!".  With that type of reaction & attraction I've found it hard to tell men... NO! Now don't get me wrong, I don't just go out with every (i.e. married) guy nor do I have sex with every guy I do choose to go out with, but I will admit to my light being... often times... sexually charged. Thus me needing a filter... a "love me in the light" kinda filter! I can now acknowledge that there are plenty of fish in the sea but most of these potential men are involved or semi involved & that's where your "love me in the light" filter comes in effect.  You have to say this to yourself when it all comes down to it... "You can love me, you can be attracted to me, you can even desire or lust for me to no end... but unless you can love me in the light you've got some growing up to do".  For now... those are my thoughts. Love & Blessings. - Buttaflibabee

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