Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Dream...

     There comes a time in a woman's life where she realizes it's not only her divine right to be treated as a queen... but it is also her destiny! That very realization came to me in a dream, or should I say a movie of sorts.  In this movie I just so happened to be leading lady, the producer, and the director.  Now i wont bore you with the details of the entire dream but it did include a train, a convenient store, and 2 men dying... yes I said it, dying/dead.  I know this sounds somewhat bizarre to say the least and yes it did feel like a Quentin Tarantino movie, but the the meaning behind it was exactly what needed to be spoken to me while I had no way out... I couldn't wake up... God had me under his spell.

      The most notable portion of the dream was when I entered a hotel type building, it was tall and it was all white.  I thought it was a hotel but then realized once I got in that it was more like a warehouse building.  The floors were red and all there was when I entered was a single hall way... I guess I forgot to mention earlier in the dream I was lost and desperately trying to make my way back to work.  So the fact that I was going into this strange building searching for help makes perfectly good sense.  I entered the building determined to find help and as soon as I entered the door... it closed.  I went straight to the end of the long hallway to other door surely I would find a front desk, a cup of coffee, and some smiling faces.  To my discouragement all I found was another locked door, so I head back to the other door to walk back out... maybe there was another entrance... maybe I just went the wrong way.  As I got back to the other door I found that door too was now locked.  I then found myself going from one door to the next, back and forth.  This continued until the door leading into the building eventually opened, happy that at least I was getting somewhere I find myself in another hallway.  I did the same thing, I walked down the long hall to find another door and now this door was locked as well.  Of course at this point I'm thinking WTF?!  I began the same dance as before, I go from one door to the next, back and forth, back and forth.  The door refuses to open and so I focus on the door that would lead me to people I have to find people, clearly some one has to be in here! The door finally opens and at this point I realize not only am I going deeper into the building but I'm also on an incline which means I'm also going up.  I go down the next hallway and the next, doing the same ridiculous stunt, but now I don't even care about the old door I'm thinking about the new door, I want to find people, I want to go home!  I stayed at the new door, focused on getting it open, no matter how long or how many tries it takes... this feeling was exhausting.  I get to the last door at this point almost to the top, I've come across no people and no signs of anything.  I'm at the final door, and to my surprise see a familiar face... it's my friend Andretta!
     For those who know Andretta she's like an angel of sorts, so I knew seeing her was a good sign. I felt relieved but for whatever reason I didn't ask her for help I just looked at her as I eased my hand to the door.  I was hopeful and could feel something great was behind that last door, it felt like life.. breath... peace was behind that door.  I looked over at Andretta... grasped the doorknob... and it was LOCKED!  "How dare this door be locked" is what I thought.  I then thought "well, all the other doors were locked so why should this door be any different?".  I kept turning the doorknob thinking it would open, heck all the other doors eventually opened.  This one was different it wasn't just gonna open... I started to concentrate more than I had on the other doors, with this one I had to feel the door was gonna open.. I had to really believed I could open the door... I looked at Andretta, she wasn't saying anything she was just looking on pleased but somewhat concerned.  I thought and worked on turning that doorknob some  more... it wouldn't turn, at this point my frustration was taking over, I began to get angry, frustrated.  Eventually my frustrations and anger lead to me falling to the floor and crying, all I wanted was the door to open so why must it be so difficult? I wanted in!  I just wanted to live, then... click.  As I was sobbing at the bottom of the red concrete hallway floor hopeless, without anyone or anything it just opened.  I was shocked... I rose, picked myself up, and walked through the door.  I was in a classroom, and everything and everyone in this classroom was backed in a corner... looking at me with questions in there eyes.  Sitting on a desk was the one and only person free from the corner, this young man had a on soccer jersey, it was red & white.  Out of the windows were trees, big, beautiful, lush trees!  Trees you would almost want to eat or paint, drink or touch.  This dream ... this movie like spell taught me how to dream.

Love & Blessings
- Buttaflibabee

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