Friday, April 6, 2012

Gut Check.

"Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it...This will miraculously transform your whole life."
—Eckhart Tolle



     A funny thing happened to me this week; I had an entire blog ready to go all I needed to do was a quick edit - "click" &  post.  But for whatever reason I decided to scratch it all at the last minute, instead of talking about Oprah and Iyala Vanzant I instantly wanted to talk about my story.  

     About a week ago a friend of mine made a pretty significant comment, this statement was so monumental that it simmered in my body for about week.  The statement was in regards to my positive attitude; this friend said that my level of joy can at times be annoying... in fact I think his exact words were: "your positivity sometimes makes me want to throw up".  Coincidentally right before he made this comment I had just selected my quote for the day... the Eckhart Tolle quote you see above.  The quote just so happened (pssst & btw I'm a firm non-believer in "just so happened") to directly relate to my friends comment perfectly and more importantly the reaction I was having the comment. 

    Eckhart Tolle's quote simply states that all things come/happen in our life as if we've specifically requested it.  Both the statement and the quote were extremely bold, so bold it felt like a kick to my gut.  Just think about it, if this were true it meant every spilled coffee, every car that cuts me off only to race ahead and then go 5 miles slower than my original speed, every heartache, every hang up, every crass statement from a friend was essentially called down from heaven above.  In that moment I had to analyze what was said, take the harshness out of the words and focus on the matter at hand, the truth is those words zeroed in and questioned my everything!  The statement together with the quote made my brain work overtime.  I couldn't help but think on a much larger scale, did my other readers feel the same way?  The last thing I ever wanted to do is come across as some type of gimmick or phony, I know for those that have been following my blog since the beginning or who happen to know me personally would completely understand the journey and undertakings I've experienced in life along with the how's & why's I am so spirited today.  The kick to the gut forced me to think of those who weren't with me from the beginning or didn't know me personally... how could those individuals be aware of the roots to this blog?  It was quite evident... I needed to write a book!  Clearly I had gone through a metamorphosis physically by losing over 100lbs, mentally by consistently overcoming thoughts of doubt, insignificance, and shame; but how the hell was the rest of the world supposed to know that?  I wasn't aware until now how much my readers had changed, they too had gone through a transformation.  I may come across as this tooth ache of a blogger that has no purpose but to delight some and sicken others... but it's so much more than that... but it's now understood!

      Virtually the ENTIRE world is clueless as to whom Myskeshia "Buttaflibabee" Leon really is, nor do they understand the hard work I've put into getting to where I am.  Everyday I place my energy towards personal wellness; wellness of my life, wellness of my being, wellness of my soul.  Most times I'm successful and I share those experiences with my readers, occasionally I'm not... that too I share with my readers.  What I've taken away from this experience is just how important it is to share my entire story.  My desire is to give the world a chance to understand how important it is to have pure love for yourself... I write these words not as a gimmick but as my own personal truth.  God has manifested the very best in my life, so much so that I will accept that kick in the gut like I made a special order from the universe.  I was initially upset with the person for making that comment, but I understand it came from a place of ignorance, honesty and maybe a little love.  Him sharing those words with me and telling me the truth of how the rest of the world could possibly view Buttaflibabee was extremely important, it was a much needed gut check that will no doubt catapult me towards a new focus, my story.  I am sure the book is something the world needs hear simply because if you don't understand and share your story, you wont understand or be able to receive your glory.  Damn, I guess that's why I decided to scratch the original post and go with my gut instincts.

Love & Blessings.
Buttalfibabee

Just in case some of you didn't know...
Story to Glory

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