Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Thank you...

Ok, so lately I’ve been feeling a bit blue.  I've had many things recently that has been swirling around in my head and in my heart and it's caused me to feel down, upset, and very melancholy.  I haven’t had much of an urge to write or be around too many people lately besides my mom and maybe my close family.  Basically I haven't had the desire to socialize or enjoy life as a whole.  And even though I've just aced a class that kicked my butt, and will be taking the next a couple months off, one would think this would bring me to a level of calm and peace…well it hasn’t.  By no means am I saying it doesn’t feel good to just come home, relax and not do nothing. The  nothingness that we all pray for has now opened up the doorway to my disorderliness and more importantly, how I need to fix it.  Along with those thoughts of  not enought, I've also been feeling a bit crazy and stuck in a place that I don’t want to be in.  Hopefully in future blogs I will be able to share and explain in more details what created these feelings, but for right now I want to simply discuss how I’ve decided to get un-stuck.

I was sleeping in my bed and woke up to use the bathroom like we do throughout the night, and while I was half asleep half awake I found myself fussing about everything going on in my life.  All of these thoughts running around the comforts of my silent mind.  I fussed about having to pee, I fussed about not feeling so good, I fussed about the fact that I have to get up in a few hours and that I was tired, that I didn’t know what I was going to wear, what  I was going to eat, what I was going to do with my hair.  Everything caused me to bite and bitch… everything!  As I got back into the bed I noticed how cold I was and instantly how warm I became as I eased into my comfy bed with all it's blankets.  That’s when God spoke!  God simply said do you really want to be like this?  Is this really who you are?  If you can find one thing to complain about then do me a favor and find 2 other things to be thankful for inside of that complaint.  In that moment I thought well I only have 2 more hours to sleep but aren’t I blessed to have slept 5 ½ hours prior to that?  Aren’t I blessed to have a warm bed to climb into? Aren’t I blessed to have peaceful sleep free of critters and crawlies and others pushing for position in my bed?  Aren’t I blessed to have a job that enjoys having me as a part of their team, a job with great benefits that I can honestly say I'm actually good at?  So many insignificant complaints about my clothes and hair, so I thought… aren’t I blessed to have hair to comb?  This is October - Breast Cancer Awareness Month there are women out there who don’t have the luxury of combing her own hair...SHAME ON ME!

Later on that day it proved to be even more of a day to stop and end the complaints, as I found out a friend of mine suffered the most tragic loss a father could ever suffer, the loss of his only child.  Never in a million years would I have ever thought the importance of not complaining would carry and reach so deep within in myself, but it has.  So I've decided to take on this challenge and I hope you all can join me in stopping the complaints and instead start to say thanks.  The moment you feel the desire to complain, stop before you even speak it or think and in that moment think of 2 things to be thankful for amongst that complaint.   As we approach the season of thanksgiving I think we can all use a little soul searching and appreciation for what we already have.  Not the things we want or the things money can buy, but the small and sometimes forgotten things like comfort, safety, family, friends and the love we all share between each other.  Think before complaining and be thankful you have another day to say thanks.

Love & Blessings,

Buttaflibabee

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