Full Circle

Today I come to my readers with a new story... the story that begins & ends with me.  When I started this blog I had the intention of being that voice for the voiceless, to talk about the things that are uncomfortable and maybe even shameful.  I would be the friend that would speak up and tell my story so that every other fatgirl would feel safe in their feelings. The title "Confessions of a Reformed Fatgirl" may sound nice and poetic but the fact is I am still yet reformed and still very "fat" at times. You see my mind has finally caught up with the initial 100lb weight-loss but if you didn't know me from back in the day you would still think I have a long way to go, not to say I haven't done a great job but it is true.  I realize today the journey must pick up once again,  reforming ones self is a continuous process but for me the weightloss portion of this journey begins the second leg it's race today.  When I first began my weight-loss journey it was simply to look "normal", shop in normal stores, and to not look soooooo friggin big. The basic goal was to not stand out.  I've recently been reflecting on the first time I was on this weight loss journey and the first time around I wanted to finally be noticed, but also strangely enough invisible.  On one hand I so desperately wanted to be desired by men, I wanted to get married but then on the other hand my mentality was stuck in it's old ways so I also felt the urge to shrink & hide.  This time around I choose to lose weight, not for a feeling of normality but for the exact opposite, this time I seek the feeling of excellence! This time I want to stand out... be heard... make a difference! This time is one of those full circle moments Oprah always talks about, because this time I've gone from wanting to shrink & hide to wanting all eyes on me.  This time my journey will be blessed because I have finally recognized I am better that normal I am extraordinary and will do extraordinary things to help others in their own personal journey. This time instead of wanting to fit in I want to stand out and stand up so that others can see me, know you can go through and experience successes, failures and struggles but still understand God has even more for you to give and more for you to live! So cheers to this full circle moment and cheers to my new adventure that  I am so honored to be sharing with all of you! Love & Blessings. - Buttaflibabee