Thursday, July 29, 2010

My new routine.

To love that which has brought you pain is difficult, at times we seem to reject the very nature of who we are. I find this most evendent in my daily routine, I wake up, I thank God, and right before I take my shower the love feast of self... ends, because at that point I am faced with my body. Not until maaayyyybbeeee 2 months ago did I accept my body, not until this month did I like my body, and not until this week am I loving my body. To love what you thought of as the unlovable is so real for so many people, how it's interpreted is what makes us different. For some of us it's loving that person you've hated, for others it's loving that child that brings you sadness, but for most it's loving the person you wake up with and go to bed with... not your husband or wife... you. When I finally looked in the mirror and gave thanks for my body my soul began to change... I came to the conclusion that the only way I would break free and gain peace with my past was in loving every inch of my body... now. My body has brought me so far and has been a real trooper through the 300 lb. period in my life so why wouldn't I be thankful and love it?  My body is ideal... it's mine. Most of my readers have read that I plan to having a series of surgeries one of which includes a full body lift, but before I do that I must be comfortable enough to not need the bodylift. The bodylift is for my soul... simply put, my soul deserves it.  I have maintaned my weight successfully for 8 years, sure I've gone up but for the most part I've maintained.  What I want my readers to understand that this is new ground for me... a new routine... I become aware that my body is something to show off. I have recently declared to my Facebook readers that I am now out of Lane Bryant, this declaration was for myself as an acknowledgment of my success, and yes... my pride.  I believe if all of us simply look at our accomplishments, delight in it and accept the success, but also take pride in moving on from where you were... to where you are now we would find our daily routine not so routine... our love for "body" melting into our love for living. Love & Blessings. - Buttaflibabee

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