Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Hot Mess.

Man sometimes you feel as if your gaining ground in life... and then you turn around and realize... not so much. I'm feeling this way particularly because even though I know my life's in a better place I still feel as if I will never get ahead. If I could pick up and take off, go somewhere and just start all over I would. The reality of my life right now doesn't feel too awesome, and I find myself thinking about it ALOT, trying to think of a way that will improve my situation... but in the end I've come up with nothing. Today I'm reflecting on several aspects of my life and today I'm feeling those areas in my life can be appropriately titled... a hot mess! I am currently living with my parents because I decided to get a divorce and come back to myself, I decided to live my life as it was intended. In doing so I had to move back in for financial reasons... but still I am a 30 something year old woman living with her parents... hot mess! The other area I've reviewed in my life is the fact that I am attracted to and desire unavailable men. These men are "unavailable" either due to distance, their current relationship baggage, or they're just not right for me... hot mess! Maybe the reason why I'm so down today is because I feel stuck... stuck in a situation that looks & feels like there is no end in sight. The feeling of being stuck gives me headaches... body aches and opens the door to waves of unhealthy behavior. I just feel like screaming, crying, and pulling my hair out all at the same time now that's a HOT ASS MESS! I know most times I have something super positive to post, but today I don't, I say that without apology because we are all human and not so positive all the time and for me I'm going through one of those times. To my readers this is the reality of life... sometimes it sucks... or should I say sometimes it feels like it sucks, and for me today this is one of those days. I'll get through it, I know I'll be better tomorrow because I know this is simply my feelings today, the goal is to keep my emotions in perspective and my habits in check. Even though today feels like a hot mess I know it could be hotter and messier and for that reason and that reason alone I'm thankful. Love & Blessings. - Buttaflibabee

1 comment:

  1. kesh,
    awwwww....i'm just catching up to messasges (actually life other than work) and saw this. we need our monthly girls night out. i will call you to set it up. keep your head up....you are not alone. i think everyone goes through these periods of uncertainty and i can almost guarantee that it will get better. love you. xoxo -stacy